I am sure we are all familiar with those new Gap commercials where Audrey Hepburn is all "I want to dance" and this desire to dance allows her to catapult from the black and white movie she is inhabiting into a magical Gap world where AC/DC is booming and she can shake her ass cause her skinny black pants give her orgasms and whatnot. I am familiar with these commercials even though I have DVR and watch commercials about as often as I drink antifreeze, which is to say never, so you know these stupid Audrey Hepburn Gap commercials are ubiquitous if I have seen them.
So I took a whole paragraph to establish that you and I have seen these particular commercials and now I will get to my point. I was in the Gap last night, shopping their REALLY BIG sale (which was actually REALLY BIG, I mean, I got like 5 shirts and a sweater for 60 bucks) and what should come over the in-store speakers but the stupid AC/DC song from that annoying Audrey Hepburn commercial. What the fuck Gap?
Like, I'm already in your store, ok? You don't need to constantly "brand" me or whatever ad-speak is for making me think of that stupid commercial. I'm here in the store! I have 5 shirts in my hands already! Am I suppose to hear the annoying AC/DC song, think, hey, isn't there an awesome commercial with this song that exhorts the awesomeness of skinny black pants, and then turn around, see the skinny black pant display and fall all over myself to buy ten pairs for me and all my friends? Well I showed you Gap, cause I didn't buy a pair of skinny black pants. I only spent 60 bucks on shirts and a sweater I really didn't need, so the joke is on you! Take that.
