Dear Neighbor

I don't know what your problem is, but I am pretty sick of you coming home late at night and throwing what sounds like bowling balls around in your apt. As I am sure you are aware, the wall we share is pretty thin. I mean, when you are talking on the phone and I can hear your entire side of the conversation and sometimes part of what your phone companion is saying, THAT MEANS OUR COMMON WALL IS THINNER THAN NICOLE RICHIE'S FOREARM. So, seriously, get a shred of common decency and stop throwing your shit around when you get home. I mean, what are you even doing??? Really. I am dying to know. Cause it sounds crazy. Do you have a small monkey in there who is so excited to see you when you come home that he runs around and knocks shit over? What is it???? Anyways, hopefully you noticed this morning when I got up at 630 that I threw my shoes at your wall four or five times. Was that behavior childish and petty - certainly. Passive/agressive - sure. Satisfyingly vengeful - HELL YEA. Deal with it biznatch.